I mentioned before that I'm now taking iron supplements and they make it so I'm not tired all the time. Which, I really like. No longer do I fall asleep on the couch at 8 at night. No longer do I start thinking about when I can go back to sleep the minute I wake up. But also, no longer can I fall asleep at will.
I'm now figuring out that I treated sleeping sort of like a hobby. If I was bored, or out of things to do, I could take a nap. If Nora woke up at 5:30, I could feed her and then go back to sleep, even if I fell asleep at 9 the previous night.
I cannot do these things anymore because I'm Not Tired. Today marks the second day in a row I've been up before six. It's awful and bizarre.I miss the feeling of being exhausted and falling into bed to blissfully welcome the loving blanket of sleep. Now, I go to bed because it's time and if I don't go now, I won't get 8 hours.
Yesterday, I was really sick and tired and feverish and needed to get some sleep and it was hard. It took a few tries because even though I had the door closed, I could hear Nora fuss, and Lillian talking to Tyler about how she really wants to go visit mom in her bed, and the microwave open and close, and fire engines, and airplanes, and children playing outside. Is this what it's like for normal people? How do you live like this?