Tuesday, May 24, 2011


Sometimes I think about the people in the Bible or not that have had dreams as visions, and I think "That's not me." Here's one from last night.

Tyler and I were trying to fit a couch in the back of our 4Runner. We were buying it off Craigslist and picking it up at the park. Somehow, we decided I needed to sit in the back and hold on to the couch so it didn't fall out of the open hatch. We tied the hatch down so it was open about half-way, and my feet stuck out the bottom. It's only a few blocks away, and this is Arizona, right? No one actually cares about seat belts, right?

No sooner did we pull out on to the main street, than a motorcycle cop came up behind us and started flashing his lights. I craned my neck to yell at Tyler to stop the car, but I saw that he was driving from the back seat and couldn't stop the car. (Driving from the back seat is a surprisingly common theme in my dreams. This shows up at least once a month, maybe more.)

More and more police men showed up and I started yelling at Tyler to climb into the front seat and stop the car. He finally did, and he pulled off the main road onto a rural street and stopped. Surprisingly, all the police cars just kept on going.

We decided to ditch the car as we were fugitives now, and walk the rest of the way home. We walked down a street that looked remarkably like See Canyon in San Luis Obispo, and as we passed a barn that looked like this:

I saw a lady in a big truck parked out front yelling for help. I ran up there and saw that her son was sprawled across the back seat in V-fib (not sure how I knew that without a monitor, but I just KNEW). I started CPR, even remembering that they changed it to CBA instead of ABC, and totally saved his life.

His parents were so grateful, they bought me a $23,000 Cadillac, which I gave to the neighbor girl Grace to pay for her college.

The end.

Any hidden messages?

Sunday, May 22, 2011


I'm not touching that.

I'm not touching that.

Seriously, this is as close as I'm getting to that guy.

Sunday, May 08, 2011

Hidden Message

See if you can spot the exact moment when Nora was no longer interested in taking pictures.

Friday, May 06, 2011

Oh, I love her

Let me tell you why my friend Candie is awesome. I read a book called Candyfreak by Steven Almond. I liked the book: I thought Almond was a funny writer (most of the time) and I like candy, so win-win, right? The problem: the book is about candy that is regional or hard to find. The whole time I was reading the book, I wanted to eat all the things he was talking about, but few of them are available for purchase in my little corner of Arizona. GooGoos? Valomilks? The book needed to come with a sampler.

The biggest problem with the book came when Almond visited the Lake Champlain Chocolate company, makers of the above-pictured 5-Star Bars. I wanted these. Needed them. I went to the website and thought about ordering some, but they are $3.50 each for what looked like something slightly larger than a fun-size Snickers. I couldn't justify it. Saddened, I mourned for my unattainable chocolate fantasy and mailed the book to my friend Candie, because she understands.

The thing about me and Candie is, we shouldn't be friends. We met in high school French class. I was a frumpy awkward pseudo-intellectual geek who liked to knit and and had ugly glasses and braces until my senior year, and she was a tall, tastefully-dressed graceful member of the dance team who went to the kind of parties that high school kids go to in the movies that I didn't think really existed in real life (where are the parents?). We didn't hang out at school. Not because we were embarrassed (at least I *think* she wasn't embarrassed of me), we just knew that I wouldn't like her friends and vice versa. After school and on the weekends, I joked about moving in with her, we spent so much time together.

I still talk to people that I knew before her, but for sure Candie is my best oldest friend.

Sitting on my porch the morning, as a present for Mother's Day, was a 5-Star Bar sampler from Lake Champlain Chocolates, thus solidifying her 1st place in the "Awesomest Friend" category.

(The hazelnut was incredibly delicious and the granola was spectacular. I'm going to have to exercise some self-restraint or else the rest of them will be gone within the hour.)
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