Sunday, May 31, 2009

Relationship musings

I haven't gotten around to uploading the pictures from my trip; hopefully I'll do that tomorrow. But, I was just thinking (read: finding ways to not do the dishes) two things about life.

1. Making friends is much, much harder than it used to be. There are so many more considerations: not only do I have to find someone about my age, plus or minus 5-8 years, but I have to find someone with kids about my kid's age, Who Like Each Other. I had Lillian when I was pretty young, so most people my age are just having their first baby, while I have two. And, Lillian's only social sometimes, other times, she just wants to play with the other kid's toys, and not the kid. I only have one friend, but I'm working on a second.

I feel like I'm dating all over again. I get up the nerve to call and schedule a play date, then I have to wonder how long before I can call again. Did they have fun? I think our kids had fun together, but was it just one sided? Is two days too soon? Are they busier than me? If so, what are they busy doing? Can we come, or is that too much?

2. I sort of wish I could get married again. I was just barely 21 when I got married and I didn't care about a fancy reception. (A few people told me I was WAY too young to get married, and I thought I was very mature and plenty old. Now, I meet other 21 year-olds who are getting married and I think, 'Are you crazy? You're WAY too young to get married'.) My friends were all in their early 20's, most on missions, and as such did not have ways or means to travel long distances to be there. I wasn't very girly, I'm still not really, and I wasn't expecting to get married until I was at least 25, so I hadn't given the whole affair much thought. A small reception was what I wanted at the time, and I have no regrets about it. But, a single friend of mine recently showed me her wedding idea book, and I got a little googly-eyed. I wish I could get married again, now that I'm older and my friends are older. I would care about centerpieces and flowers, and putting candles in mason jars. I guess this is why people have anniversary parties. Would you come if we had a fancy party for our 5-year anniversary next year?

7 comments:

Claire said...

probably.

Jenna said...

I have those same thoughts about our wedding all the time. I didn't like my dress and tried to tell myself it didn't matter...now I wish I would have just got the one I wanted instead of letting my mom talk me out of it! I just remember how happy I was that day and how much fun I had. You are right; that is exactly what anniversary parties are for.

Myriah said...

YES! I'm so there. You'll have to send out some form of a save-the-date so I can put it on my fridge.

Shawna said...

I have those same thoughts! While there are tons of moms w/ young kids at church, it's still a challenge to make friends. Play dates don't make a whole lot of sense for a 14-month old who is oblivious to other kids anyway.

Same deal with our wedding too. It was exactly what we wanted, but we always wish it could have been just a little bigger. We decided we're totally having a big 10 or 15 year anniversary bash, when we can afford such luxuries!

Steph said...

I have the opposite problem in Georgia. I am the youngest girl in the ward, and Brian and I are the ONLY young couple without kids. I have to give a bigger age range to the friends I consider, at least 5-15 years older.

Emily said...

You've said it all. I would totally come to your anniversary party. Then I would steal the idea and have one of my own.

Tara said...

I think the book was especailly whooing because of the packaging.

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