Us and Things: Parenting FAIL

Sunday, November 11, 2012

Parenting FAIL

Lillian's artwork from yesterday

So, I don't think that time when Lillian walked in when I was watching Sherlock scarred her at all, do you?

1 comment:

Myriah Cohen said...: Oh man, that is amazing work! Maybe I can commission her to paint something for me? Although, can you watch something less scary as her inspiration? Is there a documentary on rainbows you could watch?; Fri Nov 16, 11:12:00 PM MST

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A taste of the Ball life

Amanda: What do you want for lunch: ham sandwich or peanut butter sandwich?
Lillian: Ham. No, peanut butter. No... ham... No, peanut butter.
Amanda: Ok, I'm going to make you a peanut butter sandwich. (makes sandwich)
Lillian: NO! I WANTED HAM!!!!
Amanda: You said peanut butter, and I told you I was going to make you peanut butter.
Lillian: No... I think you just spaced out Mom.

Tyler on dodo birds: I mean, any species that can be wiped out by rats probably didn't deserve to live. Nature should have selected them a long time ago to go extinct... it's like it forgot and got there late.

Lillian: I like carrots mom. They're like... juice you eat.

Tyler was reading Lillian a picture book in which a little boy finds an airplane in his closet and takes it into space where he runs out of gas and lands on the moon. On the moon, he meets a little Martian boy, wearing a space suit, who's spaceship had crashed.
Tyler: How come the Martian needs a space suit and the little boy doesn't? This book is so inaccurate.

Lillian threw a piece of food during dinner.
Tyler: Lillian don't throw food.
Lillian: But, it was just a little bit of food.

At 2 AM, Tyler pokes Amanda and says, "The baby is crying"
"No, that's a dog."
"No, it's Nora. I have superhuman hearing, that's why they call me Eagle Ears."

Amanda looks over and sees Lillian desperately trying to shove the Camelbak valve into Nora's mouth.
Amanda: Stop that! Don't put that into her mouth!
Lillian: Mom, I'm just playing doctor.
Amanda: Well, don't put it into her mouth.
Lillian (accompanied with change in tactic): Just her ears.

Lillian (pointing): This is my neck. This is Daddy's neck. This is Mom's neck. Nora doesn't have a neck.

Amanda: Listen to this, "The men and women of the Yana tribe in California speak different dialects." (TIME Magazine).
Tyler: The men and women speak different dialects in our house: sense and nonsense.

I ran upstairs briefly and left Nora in her chair with a curious Lillian looking on. Nora started fussing and crying a little and I heard Lillian say, "Nora! Stop Crying! Use your words!"

We practiced and practiced saying "Daddy, I missed you" all the way to the bus stop, a full five minute drive. Upon arrival, I prep Lillian one last time. I roll down the window, Tyler sticks his head in, and I prompt Lillian, "do you have something to say to daddy?"
Lillian looks up at him with her eyes full and sincere, "Juicebox."

Amanda: This dictionary says Wednesday can be pronounced wendz-dee or wendz-day.
Tyler: Well... that dictionary was written by an old person.