Friday, April 09, 2010

To feminist or not to feminist

I have an odd relationship with feminism. Do I believe that women are equal to men? Yes. Different, but equal. I think that, due to my gender, I'm better at certain things than my husband, and he, due to his gender, is better than me at other things. I want to be able to work outside the home (one day) in my choice of profession (and get paid as much as a comparable man), but at the same time, I want men to open the door for me. Is that having your cake and eating it too? I don't think so. I think it's just being polite. Also, I think a lot of the posters on Feminist Mormon Housewives are crazy.

Maybe you could consider me a lukewarm feminist. I didn't find the "stripling warrior's girlfriends" comment so offensive, but these Disney Fairy cards piss me off. Lillian got these as a gift from one of her preschool friends and played with them by herself for a long time before I took a good look at the actual pictures, and I noticed that the fairies are actually pin-up girls. Seriously? I realize that Lillian is 3 and has no idea what "alluring" means, but come on.

15 comments:

Bridget said...

Yeah WOW. This is part of the reason why I'm fundamentally opposed to the Disney Princess empire. Toy magic wand? Fine. Toy magic wand emblazoned with Disney Princesses? Not so much.

I don't think the posters at FMH are so wacky. Some of the commenters are, though. I do love that blog, though. It always gets me thinking, even if I don't agree with what they say.

Jenna said...

I actually laughed when I saw those. I miss the real Tinkerbell, myself. I loved that sassy girl.

I love Disney princesses and fairies and all of that, but this is definitely a bit much. We don't all want to grow up to be...well, that wouldn't be very nice, so I'll let you fill in the blank.

Allison said...

At church the other week I was sitting next to a family and the mom says to me, "Don't you think Sally's (not her real name) shoes are cute? I wish I could wear them."
Sally's shoes were...essentially... stripper shoes. I would never wear them or let my daughter. I thought, "Don't you realize that you're making your 14 year old daughter more sexually attractive? Is that what you really want? I'd want my daughter in a high neck and long skirt.. ok.. not that extreme, but do you really have to exploit yourself?"

I guess the Disney cards reminded me. There's entirely too much pressure on girls to be adult. They're pushed to wear immodest clothes, have "mature" bodies, etc. This can't be good.

Belle of the Blues said...

Amen!

krissiecook said...

Before I had read any further than the title of this post, I knew my answer would be a "Provo YES, to feminist!" And I stand by it. Those cards are one of the reasons I'm pretty freaked out to have a daughter. No one has gifted my son with toys featuring scantily clad men in sexual poses; that would be weird and would seem more than a little homoerotic to your average man. Why should women feel a draw to such items, call them "cute" or worse?

Rachael said...

I am totally with you on this one. I guess I am a "luke warm" feminist as well, although I like to call it a "strong woman" because of the connotation that "feminist" has where we live right now. Here in Cambridge half of our ward is made up of "Feminist Mormon Housewives" and I am quite sure a lot of them actually write on that blog. They all wear pants to church, don't change their last names, make outrageous comments about the G.A.'s, polygamy, Joseph Smith, and Sister Beck etc. It really infuriates me, as I feel like their main goal is to cause contention. I guess I am considered a feminist in some ways because I don't think that woman have to be baby factories and door mats, but equal partners with their husbands and can be just as intelligent and spiritual as their husbands as well. These pictures of the Disney Fairies are exactly what I think a lot of the talks in GC were about. Young Women and now little girls are being told they have to be pinups to be beautiful and have self worth. It is nuts. Sorry I am on my soap box, but this strikes a nerve for me.

Tyler Ball said...

What exactly are stripper shoes? I had no idea such things existed.

heidi nielsen said...

Trust me Tyler, you'd know stripper shoes if you saw them. The feminist topic always gets me worked up. I've decided the difference is traditional feminist vs modern feminist. I'm all for a woman's right to vote and work when necessary to support the family. But a women's first priority is in the home, period. The feminist movement, which started as a good thing, has gone crazy and turned our society into a motherless one. That's worse than women not being paid equal wages, in my opinion. The sexualizing of women in our society is a whole different problem, and I don't think it's unique to the feminist or non-feminist way of thinking. Both sides do it for their own reasons.

heidi nielsen said...

And people got offended over that girlfriends comment? What is offensive about that?

Bridget said...

Because we're not the warriors, we're the girlfriends? Maybe?

Amanda said...

Heidi, I think Bridget is right: by saying the young women look like the Stripling Warriors' girlfriends, it casts them in a supporting role, in terms of how they relate to men, and not as actual heroes or important without the associations of men.

heidi nielsen said...

Funny, I would have never thought that, and now that I know, I'm still not offended. Just shows how differently people's minds work.

michelle m said...

I wouldn't call it lukewarm. But I do support it.

The Carr Family said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
The Carr Family said...

Love this! As the mother of teenage girls, I am constantly fighting upstream and luckily my girls understand that we take our time growing up. Each year they add a little more make-up and heels can get a little higher - totally opposite of the fully made-up Beehives around them. Women run the world as they stand next to their husbands and support them! We are the NECK! Rachel, I had no idea those FMH were so awful - get outta there!

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