I thought the nausea was gone last week. I was so excited, I cleaned my house for 5 or 6 hours over 2 days. I suspect that some women do this on a regular basis, but it's definitely a special occasion for me because I have probably cleaned for 5 or 6 hours total over the last month.
But, the reprieve was short-lived. Yesterday and today, I have spent most of the day on the couch with my throw-up bowl nearby. I may or may not have watched 10 episodes of "30 Rock." But the worst part is how the nausea is my own natural Antibuse against sugar.
Antibuse is a medication the alcoholics take that causes them to become violently ill whenever they drink. I'm not sure how well it works because I've never met anyone who has taken it, but I have had several patients who get pancreatitis whenever they drink, a condition which will land you in the hospital for several days in excruciating pain, and that doesn't seem to stop them.
Anyway, this whole time I've been sick, eating sugary things has made me even sicker. This is one of the worst things that has ever happened to me. Wait, maybe best things. I don't know. I can't eat cookies, brownies, ice cream, or candy.
This was how I suspected that my good-feeling wouldn't last: to celebrate all that cleaning, I ate a Cadbury egg. I love Cadbury eggs. I'm always super excited for January to roll around and I can grab one at the cash register on my way out of the grocery store. I mourn when Easter is over. I saw Facebook evidence that they came out with green eggs for Halloween and I searched my store every time I went and told a checker that they needed to get them when he asked me if I found everything OK.
But I ate the egg, and then I threw it up, and then I felt sick for the rest of the afternoon. So now I'm back to an 8 on the Throw Up Scale wherein I feel like I could throw up if I stand up to quickly, or have to wipe any bottoms, or chase down a squirmy 2-year old, or make dinner, or clean.
I have to go to the store tomorrow because we're out of food. You can bet I'll be bringing a ziplock Baggie so I can throw up by the frozen food like I do, and also I'll give a stink eye to the Cadbury eggs and I check out.