Wednesday, September 08, 2010

Two malapropisms for you:

malapropism: an act or habit of misusing words ridiculously, esp by the confusion of words that are similar in sound.

one

On Saturday, I went to a baptism. For those not familiar with Mormon baptisms (or Mormon meetings in general) we love programs, the physical piece of xeroxed paper. For most every meeting, there are programs printed up, even if they just say who is saying the opening and closing prayers. At the baptism (where I had my program in hand), we sang the opening song, someone offered an opening prayer, and then the man conducting got up an announced, "We have an altercation on our program..."

That would have been awesome.

two

For school, I have to participate in an online discussion board every week with a certain number of required posts. These posts have to be "substantive" in nature, which means, pretty much, we're all just trying to sound smart to make them longer. Earlier this week, I made the point that it is appalling to me that the medicaid system doesn't have a program in place to track expenses or recognize fraud. Ashton (gender unknown) replied, "Amanda, I must conquer; Medicaid is inefficient."

Again, I want to be there when that goes down.

5 comments:

The Clark's said...

Thats sounds like me to a T. I'm always mixing up my words and as a matter of fact had to reread what you wrote multiple times to figure out what the malapropism was. They made sense to me.

Amy said...

Oh that's funny.

Belle of the Blues said...

I have to bite my tongue not to point those kinds of things out to people. Must be the English major in me. Your examples are hilarious.

Myriah said...

Oh that last one was great. He just likes to conquer stuff, okay? Is that such a big deal?

Myriah said...

Oh, also, one time in high school I had to write my name on a little name tag thing and wear it around during an activity. I wrote, "Empress Myriah" and one guy came up to me, read my tag and started saying weird stuff. Then it hit me that he was trying to impress me.

I never realized that you could put instruction on those name things. Next time I'm going to write, "Tell Myriah a funny joke."

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