Things are... not going well

It started with Tyler being sick, and culminated in me trying to figure out how to load Tyler's gun last night at 3 a.m.  There were a few Motherhood Feats of Strength and a few more Low Points all adding up to the fact that this week has been really awful so far.

Saturday night: Tyler started complaining that he didn't feel well.  I put the kids to bed myself, which might not be a big deal to the rest of you, but I'm pregnant and tired and my body wants to quit at 7.  Not just quit, but like, shut down.  I don't handle all the whining and last-minute attempts at negotiations well at all.  There is kind of a lot of yelling and usually someone ends up crying.

Sunday: Tyler started shaking violently when he attempted to change into his church clothes.  His skin was burning up, so I told him to stay home in bed and I would take the kids to church.  Ethan got to stay home and watch The Incredibles because if you stay home sick from church, you have to keep the baby with you according to the rule I adopted from another couple in our ward.

I came home from church to find Tyler on the couch with MY barf bowl next to him.  Tyler never throws up, so I knew he was really sick.  The rest of the day was spent trying to keep the children away from him and put the kids to bed by myself, again. 

Sunday night: Ethan woke up crying hard.  This is unusual so I went into his room.  As soon as I picked him up, he vomited all over me.  It was in my hair and was running down my back.  I might mention at this time that I'm super sensitive to smells.  I may or may not say this several times a day.  I have found that spraying my entire house with Febreeze is not enough, so I started spraying a hand towel and wrapping it around my neck.  Also, I could smell Nora's hair (which smelled like shampoo) from across the room, so I may or may not have sprayed her head.  Anyway, there I was with a screaming child, puke all over both of us and also, he's not breathing.  Croup.  I forgot to mention that part.

I got him downstairs and gave him some steroids and some Tylenol much to his dismay (the kids complain that the steroids sting in their mouth and that the Tylenol is gross.  I can't wait until they are old enough to swallow pills) and set about cleaning him up.  Also, I'm still covered in vomit.  He vomited all over his blankie, which was unfortunate because blankie is an essential sleeping item.  ESSENTIAL.  I changed his sheets and rinsed out the vomity parts of blankie and put him back in bed with a wet blanket.  He was not happy about this.  By this time, his breathing was better, but not great so I sat up in his room to make sure that the steroids kicked in and that he didn't vomit again and then asphyxiate.  He started talking in his sleep in a crazy demon voice.  Eventually, he calmed down and went to sleep and I went and got in the shower at 2 a.m.  My body took the cue that now was the time to be awake, what with the shower and all, and I didn't fall asleep until 4.

Monday: Ethan had a fever but mercifully did not throw up again.  He is normally a regular awful awful two-year old, but when he's sick, it's 10 times worse.  Also, Tyler was still really sick and could not participate in any parenting activities.  Ethan was demanding and cried and screamed at the drop of a hat.  And then the Tylenol kicks in and they drive you crazy because they suddenly have all this energy and want to go someplace and play but you can't leave because you know he's really sick.  ALSO, I ran out of zofran on this day, so instead of just feeling like I was going to throw up, I was actually throwing up all day long.

By the time I got everything in order to where I felt well enough to leave the house to go fill my prescription and Ethan and Tyler's needs were attended to, Nora woke up with the croup and a fever and I had to fight her to get her to take her medicine and then she just wanted me to hold her.  Then I had to make dinner.

Then I put the kids to bed by myself, again.  I could not fill my prescription as I was done for the day.

Tuesday: Tyler was feeling better, so he LEFT to go on a 3-day business trip.  Ethan was still sick, Nora was still sick.  I managed to get my zofran and a new prescription for phenergan filled.  Activities this day include more crying, more managing fevers and catering to bossy 2-year old.  Nora didn't go to preschool so we were just home.  All. Day. Long.

Tuesday night: I didn't sleep well, I can't remember why.

Wednesday: Ethan woke me up at 5:30 by screaming in my face and asking if he could watch TV.  Love that kid!  I decided we needed to get out of the house so we set off for a walk around the lake.  Nora decided that she wanted to ride her bike.  We got 3 houses down before she freaked out.  She couldn't ride anymore. She wanted me to push her on her bike the whole way around the lake.  No. I'm not doing that.  I told her she could get off and walk or she could start riding.  She screamed for a good 20 minutes.  She eventually decided to walk, but then cried and had several melt-downs on our .33 mile walk.  After we got back, I threw up so I decided to try a phenergan.  The doctor gave me a low dose, so I thought it might not make me sleepy.  I loaded up the kids and headed to the library for story time.  I nearly fell asleep while driving home.  I forced the children into bed and then crashed on the couch.  At some point Lillian came home and proceeded to be VERY NOISY.  I did not use nice words when I told her several times to stop talking to me and be quiet.  I was so very tired.  I was finally able to get off the couch around 4 and then had to do our usual long-haul homework.  We had grilled cheese for dinner.

Wednesday night: I forced the kids into bed at 7.  No stories.  No scriptures.  I was still really tired and I climbed into bed fully clothed at 7:05 and slept until around 10.  I got up and watched way too many episodes of 30 Rock. I went to bed around 1:30 and as I was quieting down to go to sleep, I heard a noise downstairs.  I shrugged it off as a normal house noise and tried to fall asleep.  Then I heard another, then another, then I heard a shuffling sound.  I turned on the light and the noises stopped.  I started freaking out.  I told myself I was being paranoid and I just needed to go to bed, so I turned off the light and I SWEAR I heard the back door open.  I locked the door to my bedroom and got out Tyler's gun (which is where I spent 4 heart-pounding minutes trying to figure out how to load it) and put it under his pillow next to me.  I tried to talk myself out of a home invasion because seriously, who would break into my house when my next-door neighbor is obviously much wealthier than me?  Also, why not wait until we leave in the day?  Why break in 20 minutes after I turn off the lights?  I kept hearing noises so I finally called to police.  They came in about 3 minutes and walked all around and checked all the closets.  I was all hopped up on adrenaline so I didn't fall asleep until 3 or 3:30.  

Thursday morning: Lillian has had a sort of low-grade cough this whole time, and on Wednesday claimed she couldn't go to school.  The cough didn't sound that bad, so I told her she needed to go and that she could tell her teacher if the cough became worse and I would come get her.  She came into my room at 6 and coughed all over me to prove that her cough was worse and that she couldn't go to school today.  She has proceeded to fight with her siblings and be super annoying.  Tyler gets home late tonight and then I go to work tomorrow.

My only saving grace has been that I have just been normal pregnant sick this week: no fever, cough, or body ache in sight.  It's a small consolation, but I'll take it.